Take Me And Dry The Rain. A Near - Perfect Life (I Will Talk, And Hollywood Will Listen.)

Song: The Beta Band - Dry The Rain (High Fidelity soundtrack).
Mood: Somewhat upbeat.
Movie watched: Rebecca (1940, Alfred Hitchcock).

Something inside that you wanna say
Say it out loud it will be ok.

And so the words go.. Should I let Anne know, or should I continue with the penance? I go out for a movie tomorrow with her. Pyaar Ke Sideeffects. I think I shall continue with the way things are. Its a difficult task. Being a boomrang, knocking her out to the floor, and then leaving her there instead of picking her up. But I guess I'll stay, and try to learn how to deal with things instead. In the meantime, I can sit here and think about all the voids she hasn't been able to, or rather, I haven't let her fill.
Song: Sheila Nicholls - Fallen For You.
Thats probably what she'll be singing in her own world, in her own words. And I'd probably stand there helpless, all fucked up cuz there wouldn't really be much for me to do then. Or maybe I'll never tell her. Maybe I'll let her have the time of her life. I know she loves me a lot, almost like I love/loved D. So maybe I'll be kind and generous and big and leave her like D did. And then she'll either feel small about it for next god-knows-how-many day/months/years, or hopefully, I'll be a cherished memory.
Song: Jack Black - Let's Get It On (Marvin Gaye cover)
Or am I kidding myself? Am I just trying to feel all big and important in her life? I mean, I'm just another part of her life. Fuck it.
<---next--->

Last night I went with my parents to watch Khosla Ka Ghosla. I knew it was gonna be good, but not so good that it would keep me excited for the next two days. Best depiction of characters I've seen in recent times. ITO, ISBT, Chartered Buses, Property Dealers, Sainik Farm houses, new upcoming plots of lands and jat people, just like I get to see them around me. A plot thats so Hrishikesh Mukherjee-esque, and actors who don't act out loud. Only true.
So I got back home and sat idle for an hour and cooked up schemes of starting a Movie Club of sorts for people interested in watching good movies, time of inception and language no bars for the movies. Find a place, buy a projector to connect with my computer, charge an odd 50 bucks a month to avoid shitass people from turning up, and have 4-5 shows a months. Like, on Sundays maybe. The money would probably go for the internet usage/sound system fund. Seems like a good idea. Maybe I'll act on it when I turn 57. Or 60. Yeah. I'll probably retire then and get a large fancy farm and hold bar-be-que parties and sit and read in my decently-lit library and sip on some good scotch in octagonal glasses while listening to some blues. Or read the newspaper in my garden under an umbrella on a cane chair in the morning. Oh. And the cigarettes. Yeah. I'll probably be importing Cartiers then, or better still, will have switched to Cigars. How cool is that? And then run my movie club. I'll think up of some fancy british sounding name for it. Like Chelmsford or Old Baker Str or something. Now. Just how grand is that? I'll be the fancy and knowledgable 60 year old who'll be looked upon by 20year old elitist kids who would want to live like me when they're done making money and owning their Mercedes or private Jets. And I'll probably tell them about all the music that I heard and what band/artist wrote what and when and why. Yeah. Grand Old Uncle ET.
Then there's the 50s. When I'll probably be like.. the 50-something gazillionaire CEO having board meetings with my board of directors and taking important decisions about upsizing and acquisitions and all those things that make the sensitive index so sensitive. My son would be in a good position in my company, working his way up, or better still, starting out on his own as a budding painter/moviestar, and fucking girls by the dozen. He'll join me for golf in the mornings and drink with my golf buddies in the evening at the exclusively-for-the-richest club sometimes, but stay close and intimate with whoever his date is then. Yeah. No marriage crap/presure from my side on him. And then I'll go to Greece/Mediterranean/private little island on New Years Eve on my private jet, and spend some time fishing and on my yaucht, listening to some good classical pieces by Chopin or Beethoven. Intimidating Mr. Tobacco, CEO, Innovations Inc.
There's not much I know about how the 40s are gonna be. Really. I haven't seen anybody in his 40s, earning billions and really doing something worthwhile. Bill Gates? He's too fuckin boring. Mallya maybe. Yeah. I'll come out with exciting new and innovative products for the consumer in my 40s. I'll have figured out the zig-zag graphs by then for sure. Around the time I'll be saving up for the private Jet after getting bored with all the chauffeur-driven Mercedez/Rolls. Go home to a growing kid and ask him about all the things going on in school and his first girlfriend and taste of cigarettes, and offer him drinks which he'll devilishly refuse. Perfect. Yes Mr. E. Tobacco, Sir. .Brightest product innovator in the market. Clever sonovabitch for you.
30s. Yeah. So this was the part about which I was a little confused. But not anymore. After having bought my first Mercedez at 32, and earning a shit load of money for my age, which still wont be enough for me, I'll set down to writing a book. Not the boring CEO biography kinds written with the help of ghost writers, but self written and edited. I'll be travelling allover Europe and UK and sometimes, the US, sitting on the beaches showing off a decently worked out body and lines around the eyes and lips, staring into the horizon on the sea and on mountains and Italian cafes, sipping coffee the whole day and drinks on weekends, with music in the background, jotting down whatever might come to mind. The product would be an inspired work of fiction, humorous ofcourse, with which people of all ages will relate. It would become a sleeper hit, and after 3-4 years of brilliant reviews that I'll read in my centrally air-conditioned bedroom with a coffee in my hand, offers to write the screenplay for the movie on the book will start pouring in. I'll cowrite the screenplay with some established guy and a brilliant funny, light-hearted movie will come out that'll win everybody over. No Oscars or Pulitzers. Too flashy. A Booker maybe. The news of me marrying my girlfriend for 9 years will get a 6 column article in the newspaper and an interview in a few current affairs magazines. The news of a baby boy a couple of years later. ET, the ex-most eligible bachelor in town. Innovator, novelist, Brand ambassador for Cartier/Mon Blanc/Rado.
20s. Ahh. The most dreaded and still the most exciting time in life. I'll be sitting up all night in front of my computer, working my ass off and smoking cigarettes, calling potential business partners up at 2am with new ideas that might work. Going out to some good pubs, rocking out and having a good time with good friends twice a month, with the rest of my life at the back of my mind more than ever. Single, and having one night stands. Meeting the girl-to-be at a dumb bar or an entrepreneur conference by chance, meeting her a couple of days later for a cup of coffee during lunch break, then later for dinner on the weekend and better than average sex once in a while. Then suddenly coming up with the perfect idea that would ultimately start pushing me up the social and business ladders. Share and celebrate the happiness, and a 2 day vacation to a Goa with her. Charming ET. Gonna be a big man someday.
<--- --->

Not asking for much am I? I've been good and honest to myself for the most part of my life. And I want to be too. I deserve the kind of life I want. Its called Karma with a heavy rate of Interest.
So what was meant to be a simple, short entry, suddenly turned into what I know to be one of my favorite entries ever. Just brilliant. Oh. And I forgot. Add my name to the credits of a couple of billion selling albums as producer.