Anything Anything. ZXi.

Song : Dramarama - Anything, Anything.
Cigarette Count: 5.

Talking to Calvin abt numbness. I hate talking about it. I hate writing about it. And I hate it how songs interfere when you're writing. I feel like writing down the lyrics sometimes then. And I guess I do that sometimes. And todays been a brilliant day on the whole, a commendable recovery from a bad start. All mornings on which Nice has to attended turn out bad inevitably. The shop somehow makes things better, even though he sells fake Marlboros sometimes. He's killing us relatively faster for a few rupees more. Sonovabitch. Do I complain? No. I sit there with whoevers there, and stare out at the hospital building, the kids playing guilli danda on the road, people coming in to make phonecalls and the cows staring back at me. Me and the cows, we have nothing to do in life. Atleast theyr better off. They dont have to smoke to kill time. It comes naturally to them. Me? I sit there thinking about all the people in the world getting their first fucks.
So things get better when I attend a couple of labs, and finally find something new and interesting to do. Matlab tools for image processing. I think I'll do my major project on that. On the way back, Ma calls to tell me that she is with pa and everyone else at the car dealer and asks me what color I want? How the hell am i supposed to imagine green-grey? Is there any such color called greenish-grey? or Greyish green? wtf? I tell her to pick that or Silver. Anything but golden. Rubbish. I come home and take an hr. long nap to find a golden thing parked outside the gate. Like I wasn't sick of the color already. 6 years and what do they get? The same car, same color. And I'm also told that Mamu got the same car, same color, with pretty similar number. Ooh. I'm excited. Like it isn't the 4th time thats happening in the last 15 yrs.
Bullshit. So what do I look for the moment I step into the car? Fuckin obvious. The make of the stereo. And finally, finally, unbelievably, it has an inbuilt fuckin mp3 player. I almost died there. All the Sundays spent thinking about getting one installed in the car for almost 2 yrs. So there. I proved it. If you wish hard enough, you wish will come true. Thats what I plan to do about my first million and billion too. And my private jet. So anyways, its a pretty decent car and though not what I'd ideally like to have at this point, it'll do for now. Anything, anything.

Sat down to watch Metropolis about 3 hrs back. Watched half of it. Second half for tomorrow. I got a bad pain on the left side of my neck and I'm hoping it doesn't get worse or I'll be down with partial paralysis or something similar. A bad neck to give my bad back company. Yeah. Then I can lie in bed all day and not get up and use my fingers to change the tracks on my ipod and watch movies on my computer all day long without feeling guilty. I'll chat up with some horny bitch online and get her to come over and gimme a piece of her once in a while. And when I'm not feeling upto it, a blowjob would do. Hell, I'll even have beer and cigarettes while she's at it.
Ahhh. Beer. I've hated beer for as long as I remember, barring the last week or so. I finally fell for it at SidK's place. Fosters. No Kingfisher.
I don't think I'll live for another 40 yrs. I can't be that lucky. I'm too clumsy, too self-centred, I don't know anything about taxes, washing powders, furniture or cooking. And I'm can't depend on my parents for the rest of my life. I mean, I'll probably end up mixing all the colored clothes with the white ones in the machine, and make my food bland and burnt. I don't think I'll celebrate Holi, Deewali or Navratras or Lohri at all. I don't know what jingles/bhajans to sing where and when. And I'll probably end up paying twice the amount of what things are worth. What sort of a life would that be? What should I do? Stick around and be greedy about my first crore or go and live alone for a while and check out how things are around me? What about scout? She wouldn't know anything about such things either? What would she be doing 10 yrs from now? Earning crores or paying twice the amount for a dress at Sarojini? And why would she dance to kajra Re and Bidi jalaey le? And watch Zoolander? Fuck. I need to sleep.