Everything Changes But You. Soy Chingon.

July 21

 

Smokering doesn't wanna give me Ground Beneath Her Feet - Rushdie. Sonovabitch. But thats just one of the reasons why i'm pissed. there. He said he'll ask Eta if I can have it for a week. Thats called being tactful. Next he's gonna tell me that she refused and so I cant complain and he's not made to look bad by me. But anyways.

 

" Got a picture of you beside me.

Got your lipstick marks still on your coffee cup.. "

 - 'Back For Good' by Take That.

 

Just felt like writing it. Now I can lower the volume. I have a rather limited vocabulary. But I like to use as much of it as I can. Like.. I asked smokering's blog address and when he didnt reply, I asked him whether it was xxxsmokeringpedo.blogspot.com .. he said buzz off you're an emo.

but i wont steer away from today's topics. They constitute everything that has been bugging me for the past week or more. They are:

1. My marks.

2. My percentile.

 

Ok. All that and more.. is not gonna be here.. its probably gonna be something else. wait..

here.. i'm putting this edited excerpt from a conversation i had with smokering.. he's a nice enough guy an a good friend.. i hang out with a lotta my buddies but most would really find it very "pussy" if say.. you ever said.. " Yeah I got this awesum friend of mine an i wish I'd known him earlier.. " lol. Cuz thawud sound cheesy and senti as shit.. an getting senti is real pussy. anyways.. I am the maroon one.. and smokering is the green one.

so..

whas ur blog add.

lol

now u want it

when theyve blocked everything

yeah. u might as well give now

....?

xxxsmokeringpedo.blogspot.com?

buzz off

ok. i'm jus bored. i'll write for my own sake. jus pissed at others an myself an life in general.

yea do that. y dnt u go cut ur wrist or something while ur at it

lol. ur an emo. some dumb slang i pikd up from here

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=11

u might like this forum btw

whats it abt.

about music mainly

guitar

as the name suggests

but this link is for the nonsense section

hmm. no. really.. i got enough shit fillin my mind the whole day.. the least i can do to help myself is not fill it with more at the end of the day.

anyways. u havent told me what an emo is

well its nice for such times when u feel like being an ass for a while. anyway. emo is emotional

what they call ppl who hurt themselves

out of misery n shit like that

n enjoy it

ok.. u mean crazy.

n also sometimes.. ppl who listen to mushy crappy pop stuff

yea. severe cases

wht fuckin double standards do u have?

u have ur share of mushy crappy pop stuff.. u jus refuse to take it as crappy.

wtf. thts wat sm ppl on the forum say to ppl. that too sometimes

im proud of my mushy crap

yeah.. u remember the charlie episode frm hi fi?

?

wher he gives the example of skinheads who shaved their heads a week back an said tht they'd always bn punks?

yea lol

u well.. u never seem to talk abt ur hairy days now tht ur a punk

like ur embarressed or sumthin

wat crap

im embarrased abt sm stuf

but mostly i still like wat i used to

i mean.. i know if sumone plays some of those songs ur gonna sit back an enjoy it silently while hearing others bitch abt it an then maybe even smile smugly abt it

but u wont comment.. like.. u wudnt say tht u like it cuz technically it doesnt fall into the list of genres you'v defined for urself.

an u'd rather be quiet abt it cuz u wudnt want anyone to know u really listened to/still listen to tht kinda stuff.

that is the best load of crap ive come across all day

except maybe infront of me sumtimes cuz i dont mind tht

well done

im jus telling u what i'v observed.

correct me if i'm wrong. maybe i get it all wrong.. cuz apart frm music..

thers other stuff i like to know more abt.. abt ppl an music.

damn. i'll stop ther.

sorry. goin crazy

yes ur wrong

for eg

if someone plays boyzone. i wont say i dnt like it. even tho theyre a gay boy band. cos i do.

theyr anyday less gay than david bowie an freddie mercury

and if others bitch abt it ill most probably sit quietly

thts true

but only if theyre not my friends

cos i dnt talk much to ppl i dnt kno anyway

so i cudnt care less

not cos im embarrased or anything

ppl arent all tht bad to talk to.. nothin wrong in discussin views w ppl. ur pretty reserved.

or it doesnt match my fuckin genres

yes they are

theyre mostly braindead

u almost have to be dragged into a conversation.. abt anything tht starts to get into stuff on which sumones opinion really matters.

which gets plain irritating. cuz i know u probably like it too.

an im talkin abt music which might really hold real meanin to u.. not the kind which gives u ahigh

im pretty sure ppl ive known for longer than u will give u a diff opinion abt me being reserved.

i know tht too

tht sentence is fucked up grammatically

anyway..

cuz i'v seen u.. u seem to open to ur mouth to say sumthin.. an then shut up.

atleast wen we all r ther.

well tht maybe true. bcos as i said id rather talk to myself that to most other humans

lol. i do tht too.. tho that mostly happens wen i'm w a girl.

i dunno y. im not like tht wid other ppl ive known for longer

i dnt think so

obviously.

atleats

oh with girls its a diff story altogether

lol.

cuz like.. thers a small list of ppl i wish i had known earlier too.. u probably sneak in at the bottom but ur pretty much ther.. cuz its pretty apparent.. or atleast it seems to me.. that ther'd be a lotta other things i'd be able to talk to u abt.. but i have to back off cuz u dont really participate.

for the simple reason that u'v probably grown almost the same way i have..

yes i know that

u dont need to go red.

lol.

lol

wat a loser

kya bukwas hai..

i dnt think i have such a list

abe its kinda like.. u might'v had th same kinda experiences tht i had.. it jus helps to jus laugh abt stuff..

wat kinda experiences hv u had

lol. i dont hav a real list either.. 2-3 ppl maybe.. dont want u gettin all airy or thinkin im gettin senti or shit

hehe

ur talkin abt experiences wid girls rite?

(fingers x)

aww well.. u havent had any w boys have you?

lol. obviously.

bandinya.

bandiyan. i sumtimes find th word a bit crude wen describin sumone i'v bn w.

yea

it is

it seems rather random..

i mean.. v detached.. like ur jus talkin abt sum girl walkin on the street.

maybe checkin out her stuff

i get it

most of the experiences include either girls music or at sum point.. unfortunately.. parents..

hmm

me too

mine too

thts y i liked it till we were in 7th std

after that its been downhill. eternal gratefulness to the female race for that

i used to fuckin top the class till then

lol..hmm.. me 9th...no shit before tht... good rank in class.. an discussin food an porn an science.

lol..yeah. i was second.. nextto dinku

yea actually i was second or third too everytime

i dnt kno hw these females can isolate their studies from everything else.

take all the shit and still top the class i mean

lol. yeah.. theyr gonna go thru shit an claim it really affects them an then their scores end up bogglin u.

i guess its the 'idle time' tht increases.. thas how we deal w shit.. they want activity.

it jus how it is.. i usually end up doin nothin at all

yea

lol.. "when i came to a few months later.. i had flunked school an was wrkin in a record store."

i wish i was tht lucky

lol

 

So that was the conversation I had with Smokering jus when I got down to writing sumthing.More of a one sided conversation. Nothing I did not know. But I know that I'll never complain to myself abt it.. that I never tried being friends with ppl.. At least I got my msg across.. what I thought and had observed abt him. I know he's probably still on guard. But I know he's bloody human. He could probably kill me for doing this. Lol.. Or everything might go back right where it was before the conversation. I don't know. I still stand by what I said. I wish I'd known someone who knows almost as much about music and books as I do.. and movies.. and relates to them too.. and had similar parallel experiences about girls and music to be shared openly. like.. and I had known him right from the start. Dinku is almost perfect. except maybe the girls bit. I can tell him stuff shamelessly enough but its better to know that you got a guy buddy who not only understands but also relates with the shamelessness.

Blame it on the movies and books for making heroes out of William Kane & Abel Rosnowski.. fucking idiots.