Hahahaha. Subtract A Regret From The List.

Hahahaha. I'm going crazy and feeling sick right down to stomach. Omg. fuckin hell. what other words do I have? how sick is this?
Now I'm loving every fuckin moment of life. How beautiful, you ask? So beautiful that I'm gonna puke right here.
I fuckin need to talk to someone, and pretend to be sane. I think I'm gonna call SidK. Smokerings left tonight for Manali. Yeah. Subtract a regret from the list. Now I'm even. Almost. Atleast now I'm not feeling odd. haha. Un-odd ET.

Excuse no. 50469231782 for another smoke.
-------------------
5mins pass, and SidK, I rememeber is in Hyderabad. He's not pickin up the phone. And I just strained my face so much that it started bleeding right now. This kinda shit used to happen during push-ups, when too much blood would run up to my face and one of the scars would burst open. I love the look on my face right now, however it is. I love blood on my face. And the marks on my back still fuckin there. Everywhere. Everyfuckinwhere. And no I wont call anyone right now. I'm gonna fuckin finish the whole bloody packet. Sleep? bhenchod. No I can't sleep in this enraged, confused, mind-numbing state. I'm gonna bang my head against the wall.

I'm fuckin broken right now. Broken deep and I want to kill myself. And I want to listen to all those dumb songs all over again. I'm in tears, blood and pieces, and I dont know what this fuckin thing is thats stuck in my throat. I want to tear up every fuckin thing that I ever wrote.
I threw the toothbrush with the brown foundation lotion sticking on the bristles. But I can't fuckin throw the comic strips can I? No. Not the mails either. Or the letters. I'm gonna go fuckin drown myself and hang myself and stop eating food and burn my hands. I'm off people, for the next few days. Maybe. There's noone real to talk to anyways.

" Goodbye, cruel world,
Im leaving you today.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Goodbye all you people,
Theres nothing you can say,
To make me change my mind.
Goodbye."
- Goodbye Cruel World (Pink Floyd, The Wall.)